Neon in Young Lovers’ Eyes

I’m back after a couple of failed [absent] blog posts. Your last time-travelling post screwed me over. Had I not skipped that first one, I probably would have continued all the ones I was supposed to do afterward.

First of all, I would like to say that I enjoyed couples Cranium very much, especially since we won with that rebuttal. Oh yeah.

That weekend in LA flew by so quickly, I feel like it didn’t even happen. Suddenly I’m already back in my orange little cafe, sipping my latte, and waiting for my next painstakingly boring class. Honestly though, I’d prefer time to fly by more quickly rather than slowly. I have less that 4 weeks left of Living Hell #1. Then I get to go back to Living Hell #2. Fantastic.

But really, I’ll be SO glad when this is finally over and I get to go back to the glittering city of sunshine. As I was flying to LA on Thursday, I noticed that LA is very… square. The areas of the Bay Area that I was flying over were much more curvy in comparison. Los Angeles looks like a grid, and NorCal looks like… a mess? I don’t really know where I planned on going from this. My thinking juices have dried up temporarily.

I might as well go over my weekend — which wasn’t very exciting, but still good.

  • Thursday:
    Arrived in LA. Got picked up by Andrew, stopped off at my house to drop off my stuff, munchify boyfriend and unhungrify me. Went to Andrew’s house, saw the special Sabreños plant, had sex, got another friction burn. Got randomly depressed and cried for no reason. Had sex again. Andrew gave me a little notebook of letters he wrote me while he was in Europe. Picked up my sister from her dad’s house. Read letters, cried again. Took sister shopping, went home to cook, ate, left. Went to Andrew’s house and did nothing, decided to do something, failed at plans, messed up everyone’s life, cried because life was frustrating and because I could tell Andrew wasn’t 100% happy. Smoked. Played Cranium, all was better. Woke up at 2:30am to drive back home.
  • Friday:
    Woke up too early (7am) to take sister to school. Took sister to school, watched multicultural dances. Danced the Macarena for 5 minutes with elementary school kids. Went to Andrew’s to sleep for a couple more hours. Woke up at noon to go to doctors, had sex at some point. Went to chiropractor. I am crooked. Went to OB/GYN, peed in a cup, got prescription. I weigh 114 lbs. Picked up sister, rushed to piano, waited/napped, went home. Did nothing for a bit. Went to Andrew’s, watched Pineapple Express and got stoned. Fell asleep at 8:45pm and didn’t wake up. We didn’t make dinner.
  • Saturday:
    Woke up around noon, probably had sex, went home to watch sister. Didn’t really watch sister, instead watched Weeds, went back to Andrew’s. Went out for dinner, and apparently Andrew has intense family feelings. Went back to his house, smoked, went to Paradise Cove to see boy’s family, stopped by the beach on the way and smoked more. Ate dinner #2 in Malibu. Cheese is good. So are strawberries. Was very high. Went home and slept.
  • Sunday:
    Yesterday. Woke-and-baked. (That doesn’t flow as well in the past tense.) Watched Return of the Jedi. Don’t really remember it. Luke Skywalker is ugly. Had sex with music on. Went home to sister, didn’t do anything. Ate way too much food. Slipped into food coma. Andrew came over with huge slices of apple pie from the gelato place. Ate even more way too much food. Went to see Your Highness stoned. Stupid movie. Zooey Deschanel has an unimpressive British accent. Got ice cream at Trader Joe’s, went home. Smoked again, watched Pocahontas and ate other slice of pie with ice cream. Almost died. Went to sleep.
  • Monday (today):
    Woke up way too early. Went to airport. Flew back here. Sad 😦

 I miss LA, I miss my friends, I miss my boyfriend.

I was all right for the couple weeks in between my spring break and my second trip back to LA. I was even considering actually doing fall semester here at Cal. That was probably the best I’ve been since being in Berkeley. Now, I’m right back to where I was before. Maybe worse? Maybe better. I can’t tell yet. But this morning, I woke up with the most awful feeling — almost a feeling of dread. The kind of feeling where the realization hits you that this person is going to die. Or the feeling where you suddenly know that the world is most definitely going to end. That this is the end. But you accept it.

It’s a yucky, sad, helpless feeling.

Especially when you don’t really know what to do about it.

Because I don’t really know what to do about it.




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