Listen To Your Heart

Yes, now I do understand why you and Andrew stayed together but at the same time if I was in your position I probably wouldn’t keep the relationship. Love is love, yes. And if it were meant to be, it will end up. But I can’t spend a day without Chris without feeling empty and sick inside, I don’t know how you last a few months, props to you lady, your love is proven strong.

Now I know I said I would talk about my Vegas trip in this blog, but to be honest it was an extremely lame trip. We didn’t even go to Fix. No tomato soup 😦

So instead I’m going to continue the conversation with my input. I like the idea of having an intellectual conversation on any subject through our blogs. It’ll give us something more to write about, because honestly, my life is too boring to share.

I also don’t believe my mom was ever in love, or at least I can’t see how she could be in love with the two that she married. My mom, unlike yours, has only dated 3 guys: her first boyfriend, my dad, and Ken. Now my mom claims to have loved all three, but I think she just felt something special, not love per say. She claimed to have loved her first boyfriend yet she left him for the opportunity to move to California. I can’t just leave Chris if I don’t have to and I know you wouldn’t have gone to Berkeley if you didn’t have to.

With my dad on the other hand, I think she wanted the same thing as your mom, the desire for family, or children. I definitely do not think they were in love because he was literally the first and only guy my mom dated when she moved here. What are the odds that the first person she met would be the right fit? But then again, I see you and Andrew’s relationship and you guys fit perfectly and he’s your first. Crazy to think about it. Would you consider yourself lucky, or unlucky?

And Ken, like your mom also, was just my moms way of giving us a father figure. And like your life, look where I’ve ended up. I’m surprised that I’m not clinically depressed, at least I have a mom who is somewhat sane, except for her choices in men.

I can’t imagine living my entire life and never falling in love. It pains me to see our mothers, and see that their lives are nearly halfway over and they haven’t experienced what we are experiencing today. Sad, sad. 😦

I think you’re right actually. Love is definitely not the ultimate feeling because I fall more and more in love with Chris everyday. I don’t see how it’s possible sometimes, and then in an instant I fall even deeper. It scares me. It doesn’t scare him though. We talk about it a lot though, I don’t think he knows what to do when I’m sitting there sobbing but nevertheless he is comforting. I can tell he looks so confused at first, but then I remind him it’s tough being a girl, we have uncontrollable emotions sometimes.

Chris and I were cuddling last night and we were talking about how perfectly we fit. Literally like a puzzle piece I fit in his arms and it doesn’t matter what position I’m in (facing him, spooning, spread out, ect.) I fit in every direction with such harmony. It feels like not only our hearts were meant for each other, but every aspect, our minds and bodies as well.

I have “cuddled” with a lot of guys in the last year and I can tell you that not everyone fits. As a matter of fact, no one fits the way Chris does. There’s always a tiny bit off, or a lot a bit off. When I lie next to him, my body molds into him like clay. Meow, it’s amazing.

Anyways, I’m gonna rap this up now. I’m using my phone to type this so I’m not late, AGAIN! Sorry. Boyfriend is working so I get to sit here and watch him work. Ugh, boring.

P.S. I suck at thinking of titles.

P.P.S. I like having P.S’s.


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