I hate it when I don’t know where to begin or what to talk about. I’m always excited to write my blog, and then I come to it and my mind goes blank. And of course, to add onto my mind’s emptiness, Zombieland is on TV. I’m distracted.
All right. So I know where to start now: “Without other people, well you might as well be a zombie.”
And that’s how I feel most of the time when I’m working. Like I said to you before, nothing sucks more than not having someone to go home to at the end of the day. Honestly, I find myself hoping that my mom is still awake when I finish working so that I can have someone to talk to. Anything to fill the void.
Working is just about the loneliest thing in the world. Staying busy in general is incredibly lonesome. I feel like I never get to see the people that make me happy. It feels like a Zomblieland, and sometimes I feel like the zombie. Some days at Pinkberry, there are those cute couples — some of them hardcore making out, some of them just holding hands at their table, sharing a yogurt, and some of them nuzzling each other as they wait to pay.
I’ve had at least 3 moments at Pinkberry when I’ve seen these special connections and it hits me, straight in the chest: a rush of longing, loss, and loneliness. The only thing I can do in that moment is completely stop what I’m doing for a few seconds. It hits me so hard, and I have to stop the tears from emerging. It hits me like the other day when I started crying in the car on my way to work. I don’t even remember what the song on the radio was, but it just struck me like lightning.
And speaking of being struck so forcefully and suddenly by a power that could rival lightning, it happened again just now. But in such a good way.
I was just in the kitchen getting myself some yogurt, and I heard my phone receive a text. I was expecting something from my mom or you or Isaiah or something. When I got to my phone, it said his name. That alone made my heart pound faster. But it was the text itself that made me feel that same feeling in my chest when those moments hit me at work. Tears sprang to my eyes, because all it said was, “Yo. You’re cool =)”
That’s a text I would die to see every day of my life.
He’s a zombie-killing stoner.
And today he just killed the zombie that sometimes shadows my soul.
This is Los Angeles, California, thankful that he was there today with that rifle ready in his hands.
Rule #32 Enjoy the little things.