I Fell Right Through the Cracks

I guess it’s been a while since I’ve posted. We were supposed hang out this weekend, but you had to run back to your boyfriend, because he’s just there for you at your beck and call. It’s so nice that you can do that. And leave all your shit at my place. On my floor. And on the couch. Cool.

Anyway, I don’t think anything has really happened since then. Saturday night after work, I went home and did nothing. Sunday, nothing really happened either except that Brenda and Barrett visited me at work and hung out with me after. We made red velvet cupcakes at my house and played Hit or Miss. We also watched The Emperor’s New Groove until we decided that we hated it too much to finish it. We went to sleep at 5am and slept forever after that.

Had work today (Monday). Slowest day ever on Earth. No one came into the store, I swear. Got sent home an hour and 15 minutes early. I have hardly any hours this week. I have 3 days off and a couple days that are less than 8 hours each.

Tomorrow I get one of my days off. Brenda, Isaiah, Barrett and I are going to watch Avatar at my house. You fail, so we are indeed watching it without you.

I also don’t think I’m getting my tattoo this month. I’m pretty close to broke and keep not saving tattoo money.

I don’t know what else to say besides the usual: I miss Andrew so much and want him back now. I’m impatient again and tired of being lonely. I wish there was something I could do or say that would automatically flip the switch for him. Problem is, I don’t know what that something is or if that something even exists. And it’s so FRUSTRATING!

So now I’m also confused. My blog is all choppy and makes no sense and sounds grumpy. But I’m actually in a completely different mood. I feel nostalgic, wistful, melancholy, and fuzzy inside, all at the same time. I kind of wish I was high right now.

I’m in a this kind of mood:




I wasn’t lying when I said I was in that kind of mood. Remember that cute little poem Andrew wrote me when I was in Berkeley? Let me remind you:

Sabreños Dubereños

There in the distance
Sabreños sat
Along with her Sun
And Dubereños so fat.
She torched it once,
She puffed it twice
And there Sunny said,
“It hits real nice.”
There they sat watching the stars
In the sky,
When Sabreños thought
She could fly.
Over the sunflowers
With her new superpowers
She would go
But feared her little Sun couldn’t
She looked at Sunshine and then
He said, “Do not fret. We will see
Each other again.
I shall mosey on over to you,
Or you to me.
It’s really easy, don’t you see?”
So off and away she flew,
To a place that most folk knew.
She waited and waited till that
Day of chance
Till her Sunshine came
With a funny new dace.
And then it came,
He looked the same.
She said, “I missed you,”
And he, “I love you.”
So they danced away
And had a happy Valentine’s Day!


Well, I just wrote the next part:


Seven months later,
Sabreños stood strong,
Passing the spliff
And hitting the bong.
And though she was happy,
A smile on her face,
Something was awry,
A feeling she couldn’t quite place.
The sky was blue
And the flowers were bright,
But her sun hid behind clouds
And didn’t shine the same light.
So she soared to the stars
And begged with a plea,
“My sunshine is scared,
He needs to be free.
He must understand
We live in the now
And to trust his soul,
To simply allow.”
The stars told Sabreños
That the secret key
Was to trust in the seasons
And just let it be.
And so the time came,
Her sun began to rise
Over the mountains
Like a beautiful surprise.
He shone on her face
With warm, stunning rays.
He came to her side
And they shared a blaze.
She looked in his eyes,
And saw the truth that day:
That their love never stopped,
Only got put on delay.
From that moment on,
Sunshine knew in his heart
That he wouldn’t get hurt
By his sweet little Star.
They sang together
And danced all crazy too.
Their faces beamed as they said,
“I love you.”


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