Dunno

All right. So here’s what’s up with me. I’m at Andrew’s house right now. Monday and Tuesday were my days off.

Monday night, Isaiah and I were hanging out, then Andrew made it very clear that we wanted to chill. So he came to my house and watched Mulan with us. When that was over, I had to take Isaiah home, and Andrew invited me to sleep over at his house.

So of course like a dumb-dumb, I went over to his house after Isaiah and slept over. We cuddled a lot a lot and he had his arms around me the whole night. We also had sexy time before we fell asleep (even though I was trying to resist that, god damn it!). The morning was no different either: he cuddled me and when we split ways, we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek. He said he would hit me up later that night like maybe when he got home.

9pm, and I still haven’t heard from Andrew. So again like a dumb-dumb, I texted him, probably sounding really desperate. I basically invited myself over for an hour (he said he was going to go to sleep at 11pm). I got here, and the whole gang was here too. For some reason, I wasn’t getting the same vibe from him as I had that morning and the night before. I didn’t feel like he wanted me the same way.

Everyone left a little before 11pm, and I just stayed there for a little bit. We were kind of just watching TV on the couch. We weren’t really cuddling or anything, although before — when everyone was still there — we had been caressing each other’s hands.

At about 11:15pm, he started getting ready for bed, and I ended up being in his room too. We were kind of just playing with his cat, then he asked if I was sleeping over. I still don’t know if I’m sleeping over. He’s not cuddly or anything, and I kind of told my mom that I would be going back home tonight.

But on the other hand, I could sleep over at Andrew’s house. Which would be cool. I don’t know, man. It seems that no matter what happens, there’s another dilemma hiding just around the corner.

By the way, I haven’t yet given him the poem. I was ready to give it to him this morning (Tuesday morning, that is), but then I chickened out. It just didn’t seem like the right time, even though I had it all ready on his kitchen table next to my keys. I took it back, and it’s still waiting in my car.

Dude. I don’t know.

S

P.S. I don’t have my schedule with me, so I don’t know how late I’m working this Thursday. I’ll let you know later. All I know is that my latest hours this week are till 1:3oam, I think.

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