I’m Like, FUCK You and FUCK Her Too (Ain’t That Some Shit)

Wooooooowww. So I just finished my video, and I’m waiting for YouTube to finish processing it. I was going to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender on TV on Netflix while I waited. Except I couldn’t find the remote anywhere. So I went to my mom’s room to ask her if she knew where it was.

So I asked her. She of course didn’t answer my question and just told me to fix her Word document thing. I was like, “I don’t even know what you want me to do,” because she was talking nonsense and obviously didn’t know what the hell she was doing. Neither did I. After asking her about the remote for about five minutes, me just standing there and her just trying to get me to fix shit, she said that she had it. And that was it. So after a few more minutes, I was like, “Hello? Where’s the remote?”

She said, “I have it. I’m putting a hold on the TV because you and Sara aren’t getting anything done.” Most immature mother on the planet. Seriously? Who does that?

First of all, my sister is never here anyway, so of course she doesn’t get anything done. She lives with her dad half the time. She can’t do things if she’s not here. Secondly, I can’t remember the last time I used our TV, whether it be for music or cable or Netflix. When I said to you that I’ve been busy, I didn’t mean busy watching TV. Because if I have time like that to spend, I actually do my blogs. You know that. Fuck my life. I’m so fed up with my mom. Fuck this shit. I’m not giving her the rent check tomorrow. She can go shit herself in Yosemite for all I care. I’m so fucking mad at her.

P.S. I forgot to tell you about our therapy session on Tuesday. It was me, my mom, and my therapist. We all met together because it was my big moment to reveal that I have no intention of going back to Berkeley in the spring, and that I instead intend to go back next fall. Obviously, my mom flipped a chicken shit. She insulted me so much. She made it all about the money and about student loans and blah blah blah why didn’t you tell me sooner, I needed to know, you’re so dependent on me and you don’t even know it, you’re so unappreciative, I do everything for you blah blah blah. UGH!

And the one thing that made me start plotting her murder again was when she said this shit: “Knowing you, you’re never going to go back to school if you don’t go in January. You lied to me and said you would go then. You can’t keep crying wolf and expect me to believe you.” WHAT. THE. FUCK. Knowing me?! I know me. You know me. My mother does not know me, especially with that complete and utter bull shit that she said about me never going back to school. I can’t believe that’s actually what she expects from me.

She treats me like the ultimate fuck-up child and acts like such a poor, abused parent who sacrifices her whole life for her stupid incompetent little brats who don’t appreciate a single drop of blood that she sheds for them. I seriously just want to fucking grab that stick up her ass and shove it down her throat and puncture her lungs with her shit-covered stick so that she dies a painful death. And then I will stomp on her face for 60 seconds. And then I will yell at her dead body and tell her that she better be thankful that she didn’t get my Plan A murder plan and that she instead got the kindest one I could think of — one she doesn’t even deserve. And then I will shove my $300 rent check down her throat and spit at her, “Knowing you, you will NEVER be loved.” FUCK. HER.

UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. I want to kill something. But just her. Not anything else. I want to infest her bed with cockroaches over night. Or steal all her money to get my tattoo. Or break the engine in her car. Or burn the house down. Or sell her TV so that SHE gets something done. FUUUUUCKKKKK!

I’m not even an angry person. I don’t get angry. But SHE MAKES ME SO MAD!

Shit, man. I think I’m gonna go smoke a bowl and listen to peaceful happy music now. I’m all raging inside. Ugh.

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