You’ve Got A Friend In Me

I’m probably the worst friend ever right now. I’m so sorry for not blogging. I went through another moment of depression where my life wasn’t worth writing about, nor did I have much to say at all. Last week was crazy busy had 2 tests (psych and Chinese) and my monologue. Overall, I think I did a good job on everything, so that’s good I guess.

Chris is mad at me. Him being mad at me is probably the worst feeling, ever, especially when you already feel like your life is meaningless and not worth anyones time. I fucking miss hearing from you, you keep me going and so I need to learn how to blog during those times where I feel like nothing matters any more, because you seem to help cheer me up.

How have you been anyways? It sucks not hearing from you. I hope you’re alright and hopefully feeling better than me. I think I need to see you, and have some form of girl time, and then get high together, just the two of us, and name trees and BE best friends like we were meant to be.

I hate age. I hate time. It’s crazy how Brenda is already 17 to me. The fact that she’ll be an adult just one year from now makes me nauseous (why is that word so hard to spell right now?). But anyways, there’s no way of stopping time. Last night Chris and I went to a random casino for no point whatsover, because we both probably have a gambling problem and on the drive back the sun was rising,  and I just got angry at how time can slip away from us so easily. We’re seeing a new day, whether we like it or not and there is nothing we can do to stop it.

And this scares me. I feel like I’m losing you. I feel like not talking to you for a week is losing precious friendship time that I don’t want to give up. We need every second we can get together before this world ends, and we’re nothing but the dirt. I fucking need you in my life.

I hope you accept my apology. I feel like I lose friends left and right all of the time because I’m a selfish bitch at times, and when I’m not in a good mood, no one can be in a good mood. I hate myself for it. That’s probably why Chris is mad at me, and he has every reason to be mad. I pull everyone down with me, because let’s face it. This world is a fucking shit hole.

When can I see you next? Please say soon..

Er… blog bonus.


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